無題

天氣涼了拄意力不必持續的放在不斷流汗發臭的身體，胡思亂想的機會也驟然暴增。看郭利斯馬基的《波希米亞人生》，看著一幫其貌不揚的怪人藝術家，他們像我們一般想象的生活潦倒，卻沒有不知從哪裡來的蕭灑俊美的外表的假設。配樂和燈光是鬼斧神工得沒話可說，黑白的色調也是曲線回應著當下如鹿撞的心情。沒看過的不必太介意我的堆砌，看過的也原諒我穿鑿附會，就是電影裡那種一直都不主動建築一種令人產生挫落的期望，到最後仍是一敗塗地的更後設現實，更是夢寐以求的一記悶棍。究竟是電影想告訴我點甚麼，還是我只在找事物投射，有興趣的自己猜好了你問我也沒用。廟街買的五碟裝郭利斯馬基這就看完了，他無意中成了我的遙遠偶像，他的電影太多其貌不揚的人、老了的美少年、死寂的歐洲街景、還有毫不令人衝動的不知名搖滾配樂、老實說真的不好笑的冒失gag位——平常人的日子不就是一樣的麼。

朋友的心情與工作的遲濟一樣難纏。四月等狂妄的夏天，九月怕秋天太肅殺，問題要發生黑格爾都阻止不了。一位朋友問起為甚麼另一位朋友現在像一部封閉的自圓其說機，看見送我返家的巴士，當然除了聽不到的再見甚麼都不用說。後來多想一會，原來都沒有，因為腦子只是不停轉出like a rolling stone。定啲黎，我不是六十年代的心靈，下面也就不是甚麼代言。

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You've gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard when you discover that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But you'd better lift your diamond ring, you'd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?