3.5.05

搪塞

最近當腦袋操作不了自以為最擅長的思辯和分析,唯有被動一點讓音樂狂莾驕橫的湧進。

今 天在想,當人人都ipoding,或至少都mp3機掛在心口時,我怎樣還把那老婆餅似的panasonic cd player放在堆滿雜物的背包。或者說這至少能夠說明我並不以流行的飾物引令我聆聽的口味。又或者即使過時電腦的硬碟裡有60 gigabites下載回來的奇形怪狀的音樂,cd還是我重要的音樂載體。

近日playlist:

1. inspiracion - espiracion, by gotan project
2. he has left us alone, but sheft of lights sometimes grace the corner of our room, by a silver mt. zion
3. yann tiersen & shannon wright, by
yann tiersen & shannon wright
4. l'absente, by yann tiersen
5. how the west has won, by led lepplin
6. bbc sessions, by roxy music,特別推介 if there is something #2
7. cow, by sparklehorse
8. can our love, by tindersticks

周 蕾像說過,隨身的音樂設備在後八九中國的意義,是讓人可以把自己關起來,是一種宣示自己與外界隔絕的姿態。她當然可以說是敏銳地注意得到耳朵這種身體孔穴 的物理又表徵的性質,然而當cultural capital都能夠成為distinction的因素時,不知是音樂的選擇還是把向外開放的孔穴堵塞,何者更有效造成隔絕的效果了。最簡單的反例,不是 有些孖公仔一人把耳筒的一端塞住一隻耳朵嗎?分享、together的味道,看來便遠較隔絕來得刺眼和礙耳。

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歷 史上跨度最長的時間是甚麼?第一提名是五月二 日凌晨一時五十分﹐那一分鐘內我吞吐四次,看錶三次。有沒有試過站在一個定點上,看著八十輛小巴駛過?有的停下落客,老漢拿著盛著報紙的膠袋下車。原來我 皮膚的顏色已深得和黑影無異,在黑暗中我會束手無策焦慮不安,因為我無法與黑暗分清你我。我儘量避免在這些時候讀 lovers discourse和喝bailey's,那些cliches令我難堪不已,雖然到最後那些動作還是無可避免。不想接電話的日子竟然有幾千公里外的來 電,對不起朋友我真的沒好心情聊天。朋友說有人用注射大麻讓以至記憶力衰退,我只聽到那是安逸的方法洗去自己不合時宜的記憶。空穴來風的道理我們固然耳熟 能詳, 但實則虛之難道又會比較陌生?太陽出來了,仍睡不著我該找誰算賬。後面,左面 和右面的都是好同事,如何以不交待作交待。請見諒,蒼白語意在我這陣子的身上應許是無可超越的示範。夜走是幌子,也是點點卑微的嘗試,把身體的底線 推後再推後,沒有倒不會暈,那是最大的祝福。夏天的熱和汗本是很爽的,但現在都給反轉了。看來清醒正常但其實極端迷茫,是不是不肚餓但時間地進一碗叉 燒飯?最說不過去的大概是有在學的師弟問算是嚴厲的學術問題,我的腦袋在納旱,便把僅餘在操作的部份都調動來解釋某大法蘭西思想家如何游走在現代和後現代 之間——多麼suspicious、多麼惹人生厭的教學指定動作。所有我認識,認識我的朋友,在修辭層次上,我總是太多搪塞推延,也只是願意這樣示人。

近來讀過的精警說話:對不起,其實沒有甚麼深刻的精警句,或者是記憶力太差。

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